swedish fish and pretty woman.

..my kind of wednesday night.

i declared my major on monday. finally. it feels like an immense weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i'm not even sure why. having a major doesn't really change much, except that i'll be (hopefully) taking more specific classes soon. i guess it's just refreshing to know i'm actually working toward something now..not just floating around the, a collegiate lost soul.

in other news, i made a delicious meal tonight and i'm really starting to love cooking. that in and of itself is strange, because i used to always hate cooking. with a passion. i'm an impatient person and so cooking would just make me hungry and then annoyed that i had to wait so long for my meal. not to mention i had a little problem with my yummy meals turning out not so yummy at all..try as i might, i just couldn't get things right! but it seems lately the cooking winds they are a'changin and i'm getting some mad skills. i mean, it's in my blood..and the help of a certain rachael ray and other lovely, tasty food network shows. oh, how i love food network! and i'm telling ya, if i could make cakes like those ace of cakes guys, how awesome would that be?!

and now it's night and i, of course, am not tired. because why should i be like all those other people that actually sleep, i mean how overrated is that?
if i could, i would. so instead i'm watching pretty woman, which i must say is one of my all time fave movies. how could it not be though? old-school julia roberts, gorgeous richard gere, and the unconvential love story of street girl turned good goal oriented woman.
i'm so motivated, i'm even attempting to clean and organize my room. yeah, attempting...we'll see how that goes!

tidbits.

i really enjoy blogging...i have no real reason for liking it. it's just nice to put all these random thoughts and opinions and ideas of mine out into the big open internet with the tiniest chance that someone will stuble unpon it and be entertained.

lately, though, i've had some trouble with bloggage inspiration. nothing too exciting is happening lately.
my days are spent mostly going to school, going to work, doing homework or procrastinating about doing homework. there's the occasional movie, nap or hang out with my friends, of course. it just seems that the winter blues has hit me early this year, i just need to get out of here! i need me some excitement!

in light of that impending winter gloom, there were some nice bright spots on this chilly thursday.
-i finally got my magazine in the mail that i've been expecting for over a week now. apparently things go out on the newstands BEFORE they're mailed to subscribers. stupid? oh, i agree. whenever i get my mag in the mail, i immediately crack it open and read it from front to back, it's so grand.
-tonight's episode of grey's anatomy was really good and i was very glad to finally see izzie back in the cast. for someone who hates hospitals and doctors and germs, i'm oddly fascinated by hospital related dramas.
-we had chinese for dinner and it was so good. i've been wanting chinese for weeks now, it's just one of those foods you only want every now and then but it sounds so great.
-i didn't feel sickly and nauseous today, which is how i spent almost all of yesterday, so i'd say that was a definite upside.

tomorrow is friday. i'm sure i'll spend most of the afternoon on homework, followed by an evening working at the food world. despite that, i plan on having a great weeked!

the waiting game.

i am not a patient person, nor have i ever claimed to be.
in fact, impatience is one of my more negative qualitites. but oh, can you blame me? we live in a world of instant gratification..we want something, therefore we find a way to get it. now. asap. right this minute.

so it's not hard to see why i hate and despise waiting. i hate waiting in lines, at the doctor's office (although my very unhealthy fear of medical professionals may be more to blame here), for the commercials to be over, for dinner to be ready. the real kicker is waiting for the big things.
meeting the love of my life; i know he's out there, but can he just find me a teeny bit sooner?! deciding on a career; i may have finally picked a major, but that doesn't mean i have any idea what kind of career i'll have someday. i know i won't be slaving my days away at the grocery store forever, but it would be nice to have a little more insight into what i'll be doing someday. waiting to live somewhere that isn't here; i'm ready to move out. i've lived at home long enough, trust me. i need to branch out and i know it will happen soon, but it's the waiting that's just so aggravating! oh that wait.

i know that someday these things will seem trivial and tiny, and well, just plain dumb. but right now they feel big. right now i would like things to happen just a little bit faster. or at least the knowledge of things could come a little faster.ok, i'm working on waiting. patiently. i'm learning to conceal my childish impatience a little more, but it's still there! and it's all about the waiting game. life is really just full of games..you just have to know which ones to quit, which ones to play, and which ones to just enjoy!

thoughts.

"life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward." - Soren Kierkegaard.

i stumbled upon this quote recently and it really made me think.
we wake up each day not knowing what lies ahead of us. even if we think we have it all planned out, everything remains a mystery. plans change, life goes by without us even realizing it, and things surprise us all the time.

the only way that we can face life is to live in the present and hope for a positive future. we can't dwell on the past or focus too heavily on the future. life is really an experience in forward motion...somedays it feels like there's constantly something tripping us up, but we continue forward.

i wonder if someday when i'm very old and my life is just about over, i'll be able to look back on all of the experience throughout my life and see the reason behind them all. "life can only be understood backwards.." will i see why i did certain things? or the consequences of not doing things? i like to think that it will all make sense in the end. i'd like to believe that every decision and i've made and every person i've met so far has made an impact on the person i am today. i'll have many more experiences and meet many more people and i'm sure that they will all affect me too. someday i think i'll understand the things that have caused me pain, the struggles i have had, the happiness i've experienced and knowing that gives me a lot of comfort.